As Donahue lay on the bed, Raymond’s eyes stared intensely at the man he hurt, not aware how to soothe the pain he caused. Both head to head with two days growth of beard displayed mistrust on their faces to one another in grooming for their usual instinct to make love.
Donahue closed his eyes, hiding the tears he could not release, while Raymond’s right hand touched his lover’s lips to soften his words of regret he wished to speak. “I don’t know what to say, but I’m sorry. I want to make my mistake go away.”
Donahue turned, hiding his head in the comforting pillow to hide his emerging tears. Muffled through the cushion, he whimpered, “I can’t trust you anymore. Please go away. I don’t need your guilt.”
Raymond’s cell phone rang.
“Answer the phone. It’s probably your man from last night.” Donahue turned his head, looked straight into his eyes. “Go on.”
Walking out of their bedroom, Raymond picked up his phone. “Hey, last night was all a mistake.” There was a pause. “No, nothing is going to happen between us. Bye.” He returned to the bedroom and sat on the bed next to his partner. “There’s something I have to tell you, if you give me the chance.”
“I gave you a chance last night, when you rushed back to the bar to see your admiring bartender. I think that was enough.”
“I didn’t do anything with him. He’s friendly and gave me a chance to unload my life with someone other than you. I went back because you were tired and fell asleep. I needed to talk. I swear that’s all that happened.”
“You unload on me. Isn’t that enough? I cook, do laundry, clean and take care of everything in our apartment. I’m doing part-time jobs to help out. I know we’re going through a rough time, but I deserve more from you than what you said you would do. I still don’t believe you didn’t shack up with him. He’s always been receptive to you. Maybe I should find someone attracted to me who will listen to what I do, if that’s true that you didn’t sleep with him.”
“Don’t be so pitiful. I try to listen to you. Nothing happened between us!” Raymond screamed, drawing more attention from Donahue.
“Okay, so you didn’t get laid, but why did you leave me?” He sat up in bed, needing to hear an answer.
“I feel like you’re not listening. We eat dinner in bed and you fall asleep, just like last night.”
“In the future, I’ll stay awake but don’t turn on the television and get lost in your own world.”
“That’s a deal.” Raymond shoved Donahue’s head back on his pillow. “Now, can I kiss you and tell you how much I love you?”
Donahue’s eyes, slit like crescent moons, allowed only slivers of bright blue shine for his man. He whispered, “Kiss me, you fool.”
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