Don Abdul: http://don-abdul.blogspot.com
“Oh, Jack, my stupid son. You’re an idiot, a fool, more than that; you’re a dolt. You’ve been bullied and swindled for the finest milk in these parts. Five measly beans for Milky White. What are we to do? We’ll have no food to eat.” The poor widow was very angry. “Go to bed, Jack. You’ll have no supper tonight.” She grabbed the five magic beans and tossed them out the window.
Jack went to bed but couldn’t sleep, listening to his mother cry. He asked himself, “But I knew those beans were magical. I could tell. Have I been swindled and bullied, like before?” He lay in bed dreaming about the magic beans, shaped like small penises until he finally fell asleep.
Jack woke in his room, a normally bright, sunlit room but noticed only filtered light. Unusual shadows darkened parts of his bedroom. He sat up and looked out his bedroom window. A giant beanstalk had grown where his mother had tossed the beans. Jack climbed out the window, looking up the stem of the beanstalk, soaring high above into the sky until it disappeared in the clouds. “That peculiar man was right. He spoke the truth. Those beans were magical.” He wasted no time. He placed his hands on the beanstalk; it shook. The surface felt warm like flesh but firm beneath. Each time his hands touched the surface of the stem, as he climbed the beanstalk, Jack felt a pleasant vibration. He climbed higher and higher and higher. The surface of the beanstalk was hard but smooth as skin. He continued to climb higher and higher and higher, until he reached the clouds. He stepped out onto the plateau of the clouds where a wide road led to a giant castle. He glanced up above, observing the top of the beanstalk, a mushroom cap, just like the crown of an erect penis, swaying back and forth. “Magic.” Jack whispered. He touched the stalk, once again; it pulsed. He looked towards the castle, deciding to try his luck there. He walked, then skipped, walked, then skipped, walked, then skipped, until he came to a giant door.